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Children's duties to Parents
By Farida Khanam
The Qur'an has made it
compulsory for the child to treat his parents with all goodness
and mercy. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"...And your Lord has commanded that
you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. If
either one or both of them reach old age with you, say not to
them a word of disrespect nor chide them, but address them in
terms of honour. And lower to them your wing of humility and
say, "My Lord and Sustainer, have mercy on them both as they
nurtured, cherished and sustained me in childhood." (17:23-24)
Thus every Muslim must show goodness and mercy to his parents
throughout their lives. There is only one exception to this.
That is, if the parents ask their children to commit shirk, that
is, to associate anything with Allah, then the child must not
obey his parent. In all other cases the children must show love
and gratitude to their parents. They must always speak to them
gently and respectfully. They must try their best to make them
happy, if that does not involve any disobedience to Allah.
The children must take great care not to react to what their
parents have to say. If they say or do anything which is not
liked or approved of by the children, then they must show
patience and tolerance instead of giving vent to their anger.
The children must scrupulously try to refrain from disobeying
their parents since the Prophet of Islam regarded this as one of
the major sins.
Far from showing signs of displeasure, the children must pray
for them. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"My Lord and Sustainer! Be kind and
have mercy on them as they cherished, nurtured and sustained me
in childhood."
We must continue praying for them even after they have died.
Such prayer will be regarded as a continuous charity as the
Prophet has told us.
The children must be more kind and grateful to their mother
since she takes greater pains so far as the upbringing of the
children are concerned. That is why the Prophet has told us
expressly that it is the mother who has the first claim on the
child's care and attention.
Once a companion of the Prophet asked him as to whom he
should show kindness. The Prophet replied: "Your mother." He
asked who comes next and the Prophet again replied "Your
mother." He asked the Prophet yet again who comes next. The
Prophet replied, Your mother." When the companion asked for the
fourth time, only then did the Prophet reply, "Your father."
One of the benefits of being good and kind to parents is that
goodness and kindness is passed on from one generation to
another as the Prophet has said: "Be good and kind to your
parents and your children will be good and kind to you."
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