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Death the Final Taboo
By Ishrath Farhana
There was a death in the family, made
no less small by all the death and destruction spewing out of
our TV screens in a neighboring country. "...Was playing carom
with us only last night, chatting and laughing... so young..."
the disembodied voice droned on the phone.
I was at an utter loss for words in the face of tragedy, as
usual. What is the right thing to say? What could anyone say
that would make small the pain of the bereaved? If he had needed
money, anyone could have helped him tide over. If he were sick,
then he would have been looked after. Hunger or pain could have
been made tolerable to him while he lived.
But what does anyone wish for the dead, who is beyond the reach
or help of anyone? Out of habit, the cliches rise to my lips -
what Allah gives returns to Him, and may Allah forgive him and
give him peace. The familiar words comfort me, reconcile me to
the loss more than to whom they are said.
In a society that has stripped away most taboos, why are we so
uncomfortable with death? Death is the chilling reminder of
something unknown that we shove away in a dark corner and try to
ignore. Death is uncomfortable because I would rather not poke
the bubble of normality and confront my inadequacies. The
inadequacies of living well, doing the right things, walking
straight, being good in word and deed, in having a clear
conscience. In short, how inadequately prepared I am to die and
face the Maker, as it were. There is only one thing to hope for
in the end - and that is "a good end."
Allah brings to attention what we mean by a good end. In Chapter
3, Al-I-Imran, Verse 102: "O you who believe! Fear Allah as He
should be feared, and die not except in a state of Islam with
complete submission to Allah."
The commentary on the above verse stresses that "fearing Allah
as He should be feared" is only achieved by doing all that He
ordered and abstaining from all that He has forbidden. A person
must call himself to account before Allah calls him to account,
and fear his sins.
A tradition of the Prophet (PBUH) recounts that the true
believer sees his sins as if he is sitting beside a mountain,
which he fears will soon fall on him. Anas Ibn Malik said in his
latter days, "You do deeds, which you consider smaller than a
hair, we used to consider as major sins at the time of the
Prophet!" It's not the magnitude of the sin that counts, but the
greatness of the One who is disobeyed.
Further, Allah says, "And worship your Lord until there comes to
you the certainty (of death)." [Hijr; 15:99]. The instruction in
these verses is to fear Allah and worship Him (Alone) till one
dies - so that a good end is achieved. The Prophet (PBUH) said
"Someone came to me from my Lord and gave me the good tidings
that whosoever of my followers die worshipping none in any way
along with Allah, he will enter Paradise."
Though not giving much thought to it, most of us generally hope
that death will be brief for us and not a protracted agony.
However, sudden death was a detested thing in Islam because it
comes to a person without giving him time to repent. He might be
doing something evil and so his life will end in that state.
The Companions used to fear the bad end of their life in any
move or at any moment. When the death of a person becomes very
near, he should have more hope in Allah and he should look
forward to the meeting with Him - who likes the meeting with
Allah, Allah likes the meeting with him. The Prophet said, "None
of you should die but having a good thought of Allah, the
All-Majestic, the All-mighty."
The lights turn off, and I am reduced to nothing but a
blithering baby, petrified with fear, until the pupils expand
and acclimatize to the streetlights filtering from the
windowpanes. A recurrent nightmare is the lamps going off one by
one, and even the stars fading off, until the pitch dark
contains only rustles of fear. The monster under the bed is just
waiting for a foot to descend off the bed. The light switch is
guarded by a tall, headless wraith, which my rational mind
assures me is only the abaya (gown) hanging from a hook. The
fear of dark is one of the most primal fears of mankind - even
if you turn blue in the face denying it.
Same scenario: the weeping relatives move away after throwing
their handful of dust. Everything is pitch black and there you
are all alone - what creepy crawly is going to get a nibble
first? And this time you know you can't ever get to the light
switch. Then do we think of the dead in their graves? Weren't
they once strong of body, great in wealth and influence? Didn't
they too command or forbid things? And this day in their graves,
their bodies eaten by worms and their bones perished.
The destroyer of desires is death. Do we remember it often
enough? The Prophet (PBUH) guided the believers to think about
the truth of our existence in this world. Make mention of the
destroyer of desires very often - he said - it induces you to
lead an ascetic life and long for the Eternal World in Paradise,
which encourages righteous deeds. And forbids evil deeds in this
world, which is fleeting anyway.
Then why do we always feel, "forget it. This cannot happen to
me. I shall escape death." But death inescapably takes us. So
why not prepare for it by hoarding good deeds - it is the only
beneficial currency that goes in the Hereafter.
The Companions of the Prophet (PBUH) from Medina who embraced
Islam, and who supported and assimilated Muslims from Mecca,
were called the Ansar. A man from the Ansar asked: "O Messenger
of Allah, who is the soundest of people and the most generous in
manners?"
The Prophet (PBUH) said, "The soundest of people and the most
generous in manners is the one who makes mention of death very
often and prepares himself fully for it. Verily these are the
ones who are the soundest of people. These are the ones who have
gained honor in this world and glory in the hereafter."
The Prophet advised us to visit cemeteries and see graves. It is
the best admonition for the heart when man sees this dug-up,
dark hole. Envision the day when the beloved ones pour sand over
him after placing him in his tomb, close it with clay bricks,
then disperse to inherit his property and money. And after a
little while, he will be forgotten, no matter how strong or
powerful he was… when you think of all this when visiting a
cemetery, remember the Prophet's hadith: "Visit the graves for
they remind you of death."
In this connection, washing the dead body and following a
funeral procession is also a great admonition for the heart.
Turning the dead body from side to side while washing it would
terrify me. But it carries a dire warning for those who behold
it, as well as the washer, and also great reward! When this dead
person was alive, none could turn him/her to any side or even
get into his/her personal space except with permission.
Similarly, go ahead and follow that funeral, for we are all
going to die. This is the great warning - for our state in this
world is of swift unawareness - the first and the last one of us
is going to die.
A Companion of the Prophet was told, "O Abu Hasan! So-and-so
describes death and afterlife so horribly that it makes our
heart come into our mouth with fear. Shall we sit with him or
pay attention to him?"
He said, "By Allah! To sit with people who make you fear now so
that you would feel safe later on the Day of Resurrectionis
better for you than sitting with people who make you feel safe
in this world till the fear comes to you on the Day of
Resurrection."
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