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Insomnia
By Zahid bin Ghulam
Trying to sleep but my eyes open wide
With voices whispering from every side
Battles in my mind and nowhere to hide
a futile resistance against the rising tide
Thought after thought taunting my soul
As this constant barrage takes its toll
Eating away slowly now a gaping hole
My mind going crazy and out of control
I
search frantically and fail in despair
For something elusive which was always there
Something tossed away without a care
its prolonged absence I can no longer bear
Peace of mind I no longer possess,
A nightmarish life I must confess
So much hardships and so much stress
A constant companion is pain and distress
Tossing and turning all night long
miserable and sad -everything is wrong
what is life? and where do I belong?
Millions of questions and all answers gone
My
heart is riddled with grief and sorrow
And with these thoughts my tears flow
All hope lost my heart sinks low
Without a care what happens tomorrow
Finely balanced on the edge of a knife
I see the stranger who lives my life
an emotionless tyrant causing havoc and strife
A corrupted soul where ignorance is rife
My
whole world is hypocrisy and lies
And no more goodness do I recognize
Everything I possess I begin to despise
And this voice inside, I hear its cries
Of
a promise made before the days of old
In a meeting with my lord - I am told
That forever in my heart, tawheed I would hold
A promise broken for a miserable price sold
This murmuring voice so long ignored
To delay it further, I can not afford
So this mission of truth, I have taken aboard
With conviction my shield and truth my sword
An
uphill struggle an eternal fight
Battle-lines drawn between wrong and right
Returning to my lord, I head for the light
Submerged in Salah is my only respite
Lifting my hands to my lord I pray
'let ignorance go and let faith stay
Through your mercy show me the way
Give me guidance so that I can obey'
With an open heart I read the Quran
I discover my Creator's will and plan
Word of my Lord, a guidance for man
Missing pieces restored now I am one
Content and happy, no more tears to weep
Content and happy, I fall asleep
Peace and happiness with faith running deep
Peace and happiness - forever to keep
Dedicated to my brothers out there who
are looking for peace from a brother who has found it in Salah and in the
worship of his Lord.
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